I Like Him?
by poser16
Summary: Lily Evans regretted the Slytherin-like words she said as soon as they left her mouth. Now a new realisation has hit in the aftermath of a tragedy, thanks to her good friend, Alice. L/J oneshot


"Does it matter what your 'mates' think Potter! No! Because you are a despicable human being who deserves to have every bad thing in life happen to you! I hope you rot in hell. Don't ever talk to me again!" I screamed and turned around marching back to my common room. I had failed to see the look of utter anguish and heartbreak on his face.

That was four weeks ago. Four weeks ago I had sunk to the lowest I'd ever gone-all because of Potter. Since then, I've been consumed by guilt. Not even Remus Lupin-whom I've always gotten along with-will speak to me. Black was constantly glaring at me; and Potter-well-he wasn't Potter anymore. He didn't really laugh or play pranks or anything. I was actually happy to go home for the summer holidays for once, despite Petunia. To get away from all the guilt I was feeling. But alas-as Dumbledore is wont to saying-the guilt's grown stronger. I keep reliving the event in my mind, wishing to take back what I had said. But, as Alice always says: "You can't take back what's been said and done-no matter how much you want to."

So, I lay here in my pink and white room, wondering how the hell I'm going to apologise to Potter when I see an owl. Recognising it as Potter's I leapt out of bed and dashed to my window. I let the large, majestic tawny in and smiled. Maybe I wouldn't have to apologise after all. Potter always sent me "love letters" over the summer. Things were going back to normal. I untied the scroll and unfurled it.

_Evans,_

_I just though you ought to know that James' parents-Mr. and Mrs. Potter- are dead._

_Hope you're happy,_

_Sirius Black._

My blood ran cold.

* * *

I didn't know what to do. So the first ting I end up doing is running to Alice. I dashed downstairs, yelled to my mum that I was going over to Alice's for a bit, and flooed over.

So, there I was, wearing a hole into her Persian carpet as I fretted. Alice merely sat there looking bored as she examined her nails.

"Alice, I just don't know what to do!" I wailed. It's true. I was all torn up about it. I didn't mean what I said about every bad thing happening to him-well- I mean …I did-but not like this!

"Lily, listen," began Alice calmly as she stood up. "You have to understand that you didn't cause his parents to die-they were Aurors-very good Aurors. And they were wanted by You-Know-Who. That's why they're dead. Not because you wished it so."

I hung my head in shame. "I still feel so, so guilty about it," I murmured forlornly.

"Then do something about it," suggested Alice. "Write him a letter saying that you're sorry-about his parents _and_ the things you said. Address him as James and be sincere. Treat him like a normal person. That'll surely make his day."

The thought did have merit. Even if I did have to write to James…I mean Potter-Potter! "But Alice, I've been feeling guilty about this whole thing since I said those horrible Slytherin-like words to him. I've never done that before. I dunno-he just aggravates me so!" I said passionately.

"Maybe you have to figure out why he pushes your buttons?" said Alice. "I'm sure you'll come up with something. Now, I'd love to help out with your crisis and all, but I'm late meeting Frank. Bye-bye!" With a flash of green flames-my so-called best friend disappeared, leaving me alone in her 'parlour'. "Oh just one more thing-" said Alice, her head reappearing in the fireplace. "The course o' true love ne'er did run smoothly," and with that she disappeared for the final time.

I sat down, thinking. What on earth did she mean by that? Then an unbidden image of James…no _Potter_, leapt into my mind. Him and his sparkling hazel eyes and laughing smile and ruffled hair…WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The quote Alice had said-about love's rough course, made me realize something. Something I wasn't fully ready to accept.

The fact that I might actually like James bloody Potter.

Oh crap.

* * *

_Just a little something buzzing around my head. I'll get to Leila Potter and Leila and Lily soon-I promise._

_As alwasy, Reviews are mightily appreciated!_

_~Poser16_


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